Chapter 18


I've found the front door at last! I open it. "No!" Robert shouts. Clouds roll in. I step through the doorway. "I will not lose you again, Alyssa!" I close the door behind me. The sky is black.
   "You have never found her," I say quitely, putting the hat on my head. I run. Not to the cave. They might forge a key for it. There must be other ways. I find a road. I run along it. I don't know how long I've been running. It may as well be eternitiy. The sound of beating helicopters near me. I dodge into the woods, twisting and turning. Looking for thick patches. I will not let myself be found. I hear footsteps. Great. Why can't it be the Bandersnatch again? ugh. I keep on beating my feet against the ground and undergrowth. I see a vague outline of a tree nearing me. This part is like the Bandersnatch! I climb up easily. It ought to be easy after the bandersnatch and the JubJub nest! I near the  top. Oh, idiot me! I can't go all the way up! the helicopters will find me! I stay just below the top branches. And stand still. Quieting my breathing. Stablizing it. Still in thought. Only my eyes move. And my hearing strains. Cracks and rustling below me. Helicopter wings beating above me. If I stay still, no one will see me. I close my eyes, trying to blend in. Relax. I don't know what I'm going to do. How I'm gonna stay out of their reach. I dare a look downwards. Great. The ones on foot are surrounding the tree. the existant tree. The non-living tree. The non-borogrove tree-network tree. I sigh. There is no way I'm going to escape this. I'm going to the assylum. I just know I am.

I take a deep breath. Have they been saying, shouting, and screaming desperate things to me? Sure they have. I just haven't been hearing them. Or listening to them. Naturally. "Fine!" I shout. "If that's what you want, why not? I've seen worse! I've been through worse! Take me wherever! It won't make me any difference!" I have nothing on Earth to live for, I add mentally. I climb back down. I don't know why, but I decide to give them a show. I get fancy. Flipping around limbs, etc. There is no reason on why I would do that. I've never done them before. But things are only impossible if you believe that it is impossible. So I don't really give it much thought.

My feet finally hit bottom. They take me firmly by the arm and lead me. I don't pay attention on where. There is no point. I'll know full well when I get there. Like being forced to sit in a car. Then being forced to get out. Then being forced to sit down on a couch in the very place that I just left, hours, if not minutes ago. I look around at everyone. I look at their eyes. They are so flat. They only see what is around them. They don't have the full sense of life, of the world around them. Robert and Tracey's eyes are brimming, completely blubbering. But their eyes are flat, too. I look in Koran's eyes. He is different. I see real life in them. He realizes the meaning of what all is going on. He sees that there is more than what is expected of him (That is, graduate, college, get married, have kids, and get a job). Koran can see there is so much more to life than that. He is up for an adventure, up for a challenge. I can't believe that I've never seen that before my forever. But how could I? I, too, must've had flat eyes. I was stuck in a dreamworld. I was a girl that didn't want to grow up, but when she did, she wanted to live the barbie-doll-perfect dream life. A life with no strife. With no problems. I had no idea. Koran doesn't belong here, either. Not in this non-living world. He deserves so much more than this. "I will come back," I find myself whispering to Koran.

The whole room full of people turns to me. "What?" I ask, knowing full well why they are all staring at me. I haven't spoken once since I came down the tree. And now that I did speak, I sound crazy. Go figures. But Koran nods knowingly. I think he realizes that Dimmerland isn't a made up place. That I've really been there. And I think he knows that I'm planning on going back. And he realizes that I meant I'll be back for him.
   "What did you say, Aly-"
   "I don't know who you are talking about," I say, interrupting a man.
   "She goes by Trea now," Tracey says.
   "You know, for a small country town, the word seems to travel rather slowly," I say. "I thought that you would know already that I'm Trea." Koran's eyes light up with confusion. Something that he understands, yet confused as to why Trea's name specifically. They all stare at me confused.
   "You speak like you never lived here!" the man that appears to be the sheriff says.
   "I don't know about you, but I might as well have never been here!"
   "Now, Trea," Robert says, "Stop with your pretending right now. This is very serious buisness! If you say another word of pretend-"
   "You'll what? Ground me to my room again, providing me ample time and oprotunity for escape again all because you don't believe me? Let's face it! Either you believe what I am telling you is true, or you'll think I'm stuck acting out an elaborate, non-contradictive past or you'll finally decide I'm crazy and send me to an assylum! Which will it be? Because I'm tired of pretending! I've been tired of it since a whole five days ago! To me, that HAS been eternity! So make your choice! It's up to you. I don't care anymore!"
   "No, you don't care about anything except for that hat!"
   "You wouldn't know what anything is if you saw it!" I spat. "That hat means everything to me! It's everything that it means that I care for! Think of your wedding ring! If you were lost on an island, that ring would be the one thing in the world that you'd cherish! Because it means your wife, you kid, your life and your life's desicions! And so much more that no one in this world or any other could ever understand! To you, that ring would be hope! This hat is like your ring. It means everything that I care for. Not the item itself." I'm so stinking close to just showing them the way to dimmerland. Specifically the Mind Maze. No instructions like March Hare was kind enough to give me. Let them get lost forever. I'd never have to deal with them again. If they ever get out, then they would know and understand what real living is.

"If you take this hat away from me," I say. I look straight at Robert. "You already know what I've done to get it back. I will stop at nothing. That is how important that speck of hope that hat represents means to me. You think I'm crazy now? You don't want to know how crazy I'd get if you even try to take that last piece of hope from me. You wouldn't be cold-hearted enough to take away a persons only piece of hope, would you?" I look at each and every person in the room.
   "Sherriff, sir. You have been in the crime and protection services. How much would you say four days can change a person? What can four, simple days do TO a person?"
   "Depending on the situation-" he starts.
   "Sir? In the worst case scenario, short of death?" I clarify. His eyes grow dark and dim.
   "It can leave them scarred, mal-nourished, thirsty, close to death."
   "How about as a person?"
   "It could turn a person's personality completely backwards. Often causing them PTSD, to with draw and isolate, distrust, anxiety, seperation disorder-"
   "I think the point is well made," I cut him off. "You see, it is easy for four simple, 24 hour days to change a whole person's way of life, thinking, and behavior. But sherriff, does it have to be a horriffic near-death experience to cause drastic changes?"
   "No. Any drastic changes in environment or way of living can produce many similar changes. Also, lack of human contact can provide some symptoms, as well."
   "Thank you, Sherrif. Doctor," I say. Most likely a neurologist. "Would you happen to agree with the Sherriff on that?"
   "Yes," she says uneasily.
   "There you have it. I'm not pretending. I have truly changed as a person. Those four days have changed me. So, what are you as guardians going to do about it now? Obviously you can't ground me for pretending. I have too much sound evidence, not to mention, lack of contradictions, to even be considered pretending. So what is it to be? Believe the things I have told you to be true? Or is it off to the assylum for me? As I have mentioned before, I don't care at this point which you choose. It is the least of my problems." I look at Koran briefly. he mouths the words: I believe you.

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